Bedtime Stories for Worried Liberals by Stuart Heritage
Author:Stuart Heritage
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Profile
Published: 2019-03-20T16:00:00+00:00
Your Parents’ Favourite Lullaby
Beautiful baby, it’s time for some sleep
I know we’ve had fun, but it’s late
Your eyelids are heavy, you’re all tuckered out
And also you’re now twenty-eight
You’re so very precious, you light up our lives
This we thought you should know
But now you’ve grown up and you should have left home
Roughly a decade ago
This room where you sleep, it’s technically ours
We’ve told you again and again
We love you completely, you’re part of our hearts
But Dad’s got his eye on a den
Your hair is like gold, kid, your eyes are like jewels
Your skin is just so luminescent
You’re here on our dime, though, we feed you for free
You’re getting to be a depressant
It’s good that you’re here, and we know that you’re safe
We’re a family, we’re team mates, a crew
But we need our own space now, we haven’t had sex
Since April 2002
You’ve got to grow up, kid, you live here rent-free
This we have got to discuss
We own a nice home, and a dog, and a car
So why can’t you be more like us?
We married as teens, and then bought our first house
It even had its own grounds
We easily saved; why can’t you do that?
(It only cost us eight pounds)
You save what you can, kid, we’ve both seen you try
To clamour your way out of debt
But we read an article saying that you
Spend all of your money in Pret
Your smile brings us joy, kid, your laugh makes us melt
Your tears bring us nothing but sorrow
That said, that’s enough now, you’ve got to move out
Ideally as soon as tomorrow
It won’t be like this for all time, kid, we’re sure
Remember that you’re in our will
You’ll get the house back and your problems will fade
Just as soon as we’re seriously ill
So let’s go to sleep now, shut your eyes tight
And please don’t you tremble or pout
Just have happy dreams, kid, like never before
Because, hey, tomorrow you’re out
Download
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.
Spell It Out by David Crystal(35846)
Professional Troublemaker by Luvvie Ajayi Jones(29419)
We're Going to Need More Wine by Gabrielle Union(18631)
The Secret History by Donna Tartt(18158)
Cat's cradle by Kurt Vonnegut(14758)
The Goal (Off-Campus #4) by Elle Kennedy(13193)
The Social Justice Warrior Handbook by Lisa De Pasquale(11951)
The Break by Marian Keyes(9075)
Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan(8886)
Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher(8451)
The remains of the day by Kazuo Ishiguro(8393)
Educated by Tara Westover(7689)
The handmaid's tale by Margaret Atwood(7447)
Win Bigly by Scott Adams(6827)
Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin(6808)
This Is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz(6435)
The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion(5837)
Six Wakes by Mur Lafferty(5825)
The Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish(5414)
